Fiona

A decision has been made!

2007-05-13T14:31:24Z

So its exam time. First one tomorrow. Normally at this stage I would be majorly stressed out. I mean stressed to the max. But it hasn't happened. Considering my lack of preparation it really should have. After wondering whether I hit my head and didn't notice, or whether the incense I got from that rainbow shop is flavoured with something other than the moon like its says on the packet so I have maybe been constantly high for a week, I eventually reached the genuine conclusion that I just don't really care. No matter what I get for these exams, at the end of the day I don't want to spend another two years of my life in Durham.

I don't want to leave now with absolutely nothing and waste the two years I have spent here. I don't want to screw up my degree by running off to France and attempting to study engineering in french. Bad idea. I do want to go to France, but not to study engineering.

I am going to change from the MEng to the Beng. This means I only have one more year left in Durham and it will be a year with my friends. After that who knows...I can still do the MEng part somewhere else, maybe part time, maybe through a company, but I reckon I will take some time out at least before I start thinking about that.

I have been so unhappy for so long and haven't really managed to express the way I feel or felt properly to anybody. I guess I never will. But it has meant that I have had to really think about it and sort it out for myself because it needed to be sorted out somehow. I am happy with my decision, I think it is the right one.

la_loffe @ 2007-04-23T23:35:00

2007-04-23T22:51:53Z

In Durham again. First few lectures out of the way and revision started.

I got some shiny new red pans for my birthday so cooking tonight was a pleasure. I also got a remote control helicopter from my dad...I do wonder what goes through his head sometimes. "My youngest daughter is turning twenty. Hmmm what can I get her? Oh I know! Of course! I will get her a very mini helicopter!" It is great fun though! Maybe my dad just knows me better than I know myself. Oooo thats a scary thought. So I'm hitting the maths tomorrow first thing and its PT's gig tomorrow night. I do believe there may be more than a few band members crashing here after the gig. Oh dear and I have a 9 o'clock on Wednesday. I am getting too old for this...

la_loffe @ 2007-04-10T14:32:00

2007-04-10T14:01:39Z

After I made it through a week of teaching crazy fourteen year olds (and some A Level students, but they weren't nearly as much fun) I came back to sunny Scotland to teach music instead of engineering. I met up with more family members for some boozing in the bull, I went hillwalking with my dad and only just made it back in time for a meal in Home Bistro with fellow volunteers and tutors. Its a pretty cool place, it was kind of like being in a restaurant in someone's front room. Made me feel slightly less bad about still being muddy.

So I was helping out in a mixed instrument class, which meant I spent Monday morning trying to teach a couple of fiddles, three cellos, a flute, a whistle and a clarsach all at the same time. Little bit brain melting. In the afternoons I had my very own whistle class to teach, meaning I have now mastered the " If you dont remove that whistle from your mouth right now then I am going to remove it for you and stick it somewhere that you would rather it wasn't " look. I had a couple of absolutely mental little keyboard playing boys to teach as well. The smallest one wouldn't have said boo to a goose on monday morning but by the end of the week I couldn't get him to shut up! The concert on Thursday was lovely *beams with pride*. All the kids seemed to get so much out of the whole thing and I don't just mean music. I had a ball too. The weather has just been so great, cider in the Links every afternoon, playing at the Cabaret Bar ( Sacha finally got to see me play too!), a wander up Arthur's Seat and down the other side to the Sheep's Heid, and rather a nice celebratory drinkfilled session on Thursday to finish it all off.

The nice man at the Sheep's Heid asked us to play a session on Sunday because they were having a beer festival. So we did. And our payment was crates of a vast selection of Scottish Ale. I still have some in my kitchen. But not much. I met up with Sacha for the last time on Sunday too. Her visa ran out so she's off back to New Zealand now. NZ is definately on the cards for after uni travel! Speaking of uni I think revision really ought to be on the cards for well right now this minute. Still lacking in motivation...I think I might organise my birthday party. Its going to be in Durham, at my house, on my birthday, all welcome.

la_loffe @ 2007-03-27T17:24:00

2007-03-28T14:50:33Z

Aberdeen was sooooooperb. It felt like a proper holiday, perhaps due to the beautiful sunshine and the time spent on the beach! Bonfire on the beach on Thursday night, Ale and cocktails on Friday afternoon, tea with my sister Friday evening and a gig at the Tunnels on Friday night. Headed through to Methlick on Saturday with Gavin, barbequed and played music all day till the do on Saturday night. I am not sure how successfully I turned this rock band into a ceilidh band but people were dancing and enjoyed it muchly. Sunday saw a lesiurely brunch with the party survivors, well until I realised the clocks had changed and I had to catch my train. Lovely few pints with Catriona, though I was still full of lager from the night before, were had when I got off the train. And I got the 6 o'clock train on Monday morning back to Durham. Yes chaps I was up at 4.30 in the morning...not a pretty sight.

Today was pretty manic. Fourteen year olds are crazy. I spent this morning helping them build hoists out of Al angle and strip. Hand them a drill and they want to make holes in EVERYTHING. Trying to teach them anything when they had tools to play with was a bit of a challenge but I reckon teaching them practical skills too is pretty important considering the lack of it in schools now. The afternoon was mini wind turbines. Some of them even seemed impressed when I turned their generator into a motor by turning it around. Oh and they called me Miss Robinson hehe!

la_loffe @ 2007-03-19T19:22:00

2007-03-19T22:21:48Z

Well it's over. I bought several train tickets today. I have training tomorrow and then I am coming home to the Burgh for oh wait for it...1 day. I am going to Aberdeen on Thursday to play for a ceilidh...with a rock band. Um we will see how that goes. It does mean I get to see some friends, relatives and generally get away though which has to be a good thing.

The last week hasn't been too rough. Only a few outbursts. I made a massive effort to finish my assignments in time for Tuesday night so we could delve into the closest thing there is to underground music in Durham. I was then ditched. So I went out with the usual crowd to the usual places and it was just so dull. Maybe even a new topic of conversation would have sufficed...but no. I left them to their own devices, not that they would have noticed my presence or lack of anyway, and went to this electro place by myself. So glad I did. It was so nice to let off some steam dancing away like a crazy person, met a couple of guys, went to a house party after the sets. Pills and police and so refreshingly unlike Durham. Didn't last though. The last night of term was a shit as any other night, I left early and was home by 1am. I did then procede to get ridiculously high which made up for it. Now everyone has started pairing off I can't just spend time with "the boys" anymore. Its the boys and the girlfriends. Its stupid but its like I don't get to play their games anymore because girls aren't allowed to play. And well I certainly don't want to play with the girls (these girls) because they are boring as fuck. It disappoints me that such interesting people seem so happy with such fucking boring girls. Its not even as if they are nice and boring they are just plain boring. I just don't understand it. And it worries me that maybe I am supposed to end up with some guy who is as boring as fuck. Or maybe I should go for some escaped criminal to make things very very interesting. Or maybe I have just watched too much Prison Break...

Anyway, I finished my assignments, well when I say finished I mean more kind of just stopped. But I really don't give a shit now its all about the 2:1 in the exams and going to France. Also the musical is now over and it was amazing! We did in fact rock. Even the reviews were good. After saying goodbye to my character Nellie the prostitute I was still feeling all theatrical so I auditioned for Shakespeare's "Much Ado About Nothing" and actually got a part too! So say hello to Margaret - Hero’s serving woman, who unwittingly helps Borachio and Don John deceive Claudio into thinking that Hero is unfaithful. Unlike Ursula, Hero’s other lady-in-waiting, Margaret is lower class. Though she is honest, she does have some dealings with the villainous world of Don John: her lover is the mistrustful and easily bribed Borachio. Also unlike Ursula, Margaret loves to break decorum, especially with bawdy jokes and teases. (Thank you SparkNotes). I am feeling rather attached to this woman already!

Well maaahuussive post over with I think I should probably get some sets together for this ceilidh. Or I might just have a smoke. Because I want to.

la_loffe @ 2007-02-26T16:20:00

2007-02-26T17:01:18Z

I need to get out. I came back from Scotland on Wednesday night ( I now have level 1 tutor training in the bag, and also introduced about 600 kids to traditional music. A much more productive week than would have been had in Durham.) trying to concentrate on just getting through the next three weeks...I didn't even make it until Thursday lunchtime before walking out of labs once again in tears. I had a gig on Thursday night and it was quite obvious I was worn out. Tom gave me a hug after I played. I wanted to tell him how much I needed that hug. I should have told him. I have stopped going to lectures. Instead of getting my head down and getting on with my assignments that I no longer have time to finish I spend my time thinking about ways to avoid them altogether. I told my dad I wasn't happy. He thinks he understands because everyone goes through lows at uni especially with this degree apparently. I don't know if he does. How long is a low supposed to last? How long should I stick it out? I don't know why I ask because we all know I'm a stubborn little cow, I have made this commitment and I am going to see it through. I just need to know its going to get better eventually. Or at least I need to find some way of making it bearable. If only it was just the course. I don't want to be HERE. It's the place and the people. Not all the people. Of course there are people here I need but those select few are the ones I know I won't lose even when I leave. Its three weeks of this torment left like my insides are constantly twisted up and I am submerged in an ocean of things I don't want to do but have to do, people I don't want to see but have to see. Three weeks of trying not to rebel like the child inside and kick and scream because its not what I want. Three weeks. Then I will shoot back up to Scotland at the first possible opportunity. Maybe to France briefly if I have the cash or the time. Play music for a month. Hit the books. Back here for exams but only for a month. Then wham before you know it I have moved to France and have an entire year before I have to be back here. For sure its not that difficult is it? It feels difficult. It feels very difficult.

Back in the Ham of Dur

2006-10-10T12:03:52Z

From a mad sunday in London, drinking woodstock out of a bag for twelve hours, strippers and magicians in a church, (Haha Larkin thats what I call Church Going!) to ice cream and pizza in a cafe in Venice, managing a narrow escape from arrest in Hungary and other adventures on the way, I finally made it back to Mid Calder.

Coming home was like a slap in the face. Our friend had died, Sarah had gone blind oh and my dog was off its face on magic mushrooms (long story). I stayed for two days to go to the funeral then headed down to Durham to move into my new house.

Anyhoo I think I am properly settled in now. I really do like my little pad. Had people round last night which was nice. Its been really great seeing everyone again. We have a had a few brilliant nights out...and nights in! This could be a good and productive year.

Have to and find the rest of my group to start on my project now. Nobody else seemed to want to do the Mechanical project so now I am with a couple of randomers. I don't even know what they look like yet! Everyone else appears to be doing Civil. Seriously what is the attraction? Am I missing something completely here? I always thought mechanical would be the most obviously popular stream? No? Well there you go I am a freak again. Never mind.

It was all going so well...

2006-09-19T14:41:47Z

Well I have a strong dislike of germans now. The bus to Prague we were supposed to catch last night left an hour early without telling us or even changing the internet timetable. So last night was spent on the concrete floor of Berlins one and only station. The staff when they do eventually turn up are rude and unhelpful and refuse to listen. This morning she tried to make me pay a booking fee for a bus I already had a ticket for and that was leaving in less than half an hour. I was like fuck off. Turns out they say fuck in germany too. Oh and don't bother trying to ask germans for directions either. In fact the best thing about Germany was the Spaniards. If only I could remember...it kinda goes blank after pina colada...I did go to the sony centre, see pirates of the carribean oh and the gate and the wall etc. Depressing shit.

Well we have finally made it to Prague to a nice hostel, nice people. Although found out about the riots in Budapest. So may have to change plans to avoid being set on fire.

Glad to hear you are all having fun at uni. I feel kind of naughty not being there yet! I still have to write to my fresher sons. Man am gonna be a crap mother...

From Paris to Berlin etc

2006-09-16T08:48:33Z

Arrived in Berlin this morning after being woken up for a passport check at three in the morning. Apart from that rather a good nights sleep. Alas my poor bottom is sore again after cycling round Amsterdam. The guys at the shop seemed to like us though because they gave us our bikes for cheap when no one else was looking. Paris was beautiful and so incredibly hot. I am normally one of those annoying people that as soon as they get somewhere they want to go somewhere else. But I just did not want to leave Paris. So another return trip will be necessary. As is one to Amsterdam but that has an alternative agenda.

Have stayed with some nice people so far. The first guy in Paris, Jean, met us from the station and drove us back to his rather nice pad in his total pimp mobile. He had a cat and a kitten! So cute but did jump on my head in the middle of the night. We met a bunch of other surfers there too whilst having a picnic by the river. We then stayed with Amine. Lovely musician who came home one night to tell us he had got into a new band. How cool. Also had a lovely flat, very close to the boulangerie so of course I had real pain au chocolat.

Did the usual sight seeing in Paris. The views from the Arc de Triomphe and Eiffel tower were incredible because of the beautiful weather. And did the usual sight seeing etc in Amsterdam too. We stayed with Pieter who was very nice and told us all the good places to go. Their house was hilariously messy. Hall floor covered in boxers and somebody appeared to live in a shed outside. Anyways better go and find somewhere to sleep tonight then venture out on the U-Bahn!

la_loffe @ 2006-09-05T19:24:00

2006-09-05T22:10:25Z

The last few days have been quite good really. My manager offered to get me transfered to Durham so I now have a job to go back to when I move into my new house which, incidently, I have been finding out more about since Sarah's visit. The previous residents have left us some goodies although I am not quite sure why we need four irons (amd just one ironing bored). Speaking of goodies, I got a new krobb and a couple of krypps yesterday although I really wanted a minnen ratta (I went to Ikea). Oh and I got asked out. It cost the poor guy (quite cute) five ice creams and I still said no. But it was nice to be asked. I missed the fireworks on Sunday. I had gone to work on four hours sleep straight from Edinburgh. My hair was still wet from the rain the night before! Euugh! I felt so bad all day that curling up in front of Midsomer Murders seemed like heaven. Saturday night was fun (from what I can piece together from the hazy memories and things I found in my handbag) and I totally deserved to feel like shit the next day. If the next three weeks are like that I think it may be a very umm eventful trip around Europe.

Ireland

2006-08-20T21:39:16Z

How lucky am I? It appears I may have been in the only place in Britain to see sunshine this weekend. The racing was excellent. My first time at the Ulster Grand Prix did not disappoint!

I saw vast amounts of relatives, stayed with my Auntie and ended up last night at a Young Farmers "bbq". When they say bbq they actually mean giant piss up. Nobody was eating burgers and sausages. There was a massive tent, a bar and a band, what more do you need? A strange thing happened though. Out of the hundreds of people there (people had come on two hour coach journeys to get to this "bbq". Twas an event!) I start chatting to this guy and dancing away to the band as you do at bbqs. Now keep in mind I am in a different country and also there are hundreds of other people I could have started talking to. Turns out this guy works with my father. No not just the same company the same team. Theres only about 5 of them that work together and he is one of them! Mood killer or what?! The world is far too small.

I had a dream that Rich had beard. Well actually he was just making a bit of cameo appearance in my dream. But he did say hello and he had a full on enormous beard. I haven't seen him in a couple of months so I may phone him to ask if he has a beard. Every so often something I dream comes true...

Other news to report:

My arse is sore! Sheesh three days on a motorcycle and my poor bottom hurts and my knees too. They don't like to bend anymore. Was fun though! Antrim coast is beautiful. Went to where my dad grew up. Its a pile of stones in the middle of a field full of nettles. Sheep now live in it. It must have been have been lovely on top of a hill and you can see to the sea. He's funny about it. Not sad, just funny.

la_loffe @ 2006-08-03T20:22:00

2006-08-03T19:47:29Z

I am really angry and really upset. I want to break things. Here I am stuck in this shitty little place again, because of public transport no show, with absolutely nobody to play music with. My violin and I are lonely. I didn't realise how badly I wanted, needed to go to this tonight until I couldn't, and then suddenly I wanted to scream and throw things at the idiot people in the street. I feel totally trapped right now, like I have taken two steps back to 3 years ago. My little life just now revolves around places that I was so happy to leave behind. And now I am back. I have been sucked back in somehow and I need to get out again. I think its the contrast that made things clearer because I had such a nice time last night and today, that getting home again was like a massive slap in the face. There are so many things I want to be doing and none of them are quite within my reach. What I want to be doing right now however is playing and sharing with other people and nobody else is here.

Why do all my jobs involve ice cream?

2006-07-19T11:51:10Z

Its my day off today. I got myself a job in a chocolate shop, well Thortons Cafe/Shop. I am now constantly sticky. I even managed to accidently stick my elbow in the chocolate fountain whilst cleaning the ice cream counter, but don't tell anybody!

In other news the band that kind of developed out of the music course I was on (I only did it because EYG paid the tuition fees, accomodation, food) was described as progressive by one of my heros! In fact I think the exact words were "Its progressive and I like it!" So there you have it, I am officially a progressive musician. Hehe!
Enough of my big headedness. The course was good, we met an agent, did pilates (well I giggled my way through that session), learnt some more gaelic and I even stood up on stage and spoke to people in gaelic! I think I probably said something along the lines of "Good evening everybody. We are going to ploy you some jugs etc..." But I think they got the jist of it.
The agent told us lots of stuff about the music industry and I realised it IS actually an industry. I never really knew how much was involved and all the different groups and companies and contracts and all this scary legal stuff. But somehow all this just made the whole thing seem more real and therefore more achievable. Hmmm.

I have reached that nasty stage of the holidays where everyone from home is either away or busy with work (or I am busy with work) and stuff and I haven't seen people from uni in weeeeeks. I miss people! I am even hallucinating! I keep seeing people from Durham, but I don't. Along similar lines but not really, one of those giant posters they have at McArthur Glen of the models looking pretty and perfect and supposedly enticing you to shop looks exactly like one of the guys I went to Morocco with. I was just running along late for work minding my own business and suddenly, oh my goodness, it was a giant Sam! Huge!

la_loffe @ 2006-06-06T17:20:00

2006-06-06T17:36:10Z

Its sooo hot! I have just crawled inside to get away from the heat because my poor scottish self can't cope with it! However, I did crawl past my pigeon hole on the way back from the meadow to pick up my post and what did I find? A cheque for the sum of two pounds pour moi from Barclays Bank. Strange.

I have spent the last week getting up ridiculously early to go to Teesside and do technical training. It was really quite fun (minus the early starts) and I do think I look incredibly good in a boiler suit and a full face mask whilst welding. The weekend of course saw us engineers excited about not having to get up early on saturday morning and therefore going out on a mammoth bar crawl on friday night ending in the construction of a waterslide on Steve's floor. Not that I really remember but unfortunately there is photograhic evidence. On Sunday i played lacrosse and am now horrendously sunburnt and bruised. Sunday night was a bit busier than I had planned because I was the musician to the rescue at the Shakespeare. But free drink, can't complain.

I sweet talked my trainer guy into letting us away early yesterday although I am not quite sure what he thought I was asking him. He kept asking me if I was ok and saying I could leave whenever I felt comfortable. Hmmm. Anyway, we all piled into the back of a VW camper van in true student stylie and made our way as fast as the poor unroadworthy vehicle could manage to the Collingwood beach party.

The sun was shining, everyone was in a good mood, there was music, food, drink and matching t-shirts. Chris and I finally did a birthday yard each. I seem to just keep doing things that suggest I am not actually female. I am though! I am! Yes I drank an entire

(Ignore that dodgy frenchman in the grass skirt)

Another surprise chat with a certain gentleman (oh dear I think I am smitten), a cardboard box, and a gorilla later I was dancing away to cheesy music in a club with my friends.

Off to a gig in Newcastle, oh I love being free!

la_loffe @ 2006-05-28T14:14:00

2006-05-28T13:46:18Z

Thursday night included famous faces, long time no see faces, and new faces that I have a feeling may become familiar faces. It was lovely, and swapped numbers suggests there may be a similar occasion in the future.

Friday included wine and the girls, beer and the guys, a ridiculously short skirt, planet of sound, dancing and swings. Oh and yet more drama in the love lives of my friends and again I end up clearing up the mess behind without saying "I told you so!" Seriously, they make me feel sane sometimes!

Saturday was great. My dad came down to visit me and brought down my crash helmet. We motorcycled it over to Barnard Castle (lovely town) to see some friends only to find out they had just left for Newcastle. But it was gala day there and there were men in fancy dress doing a boat race. Well a non-boat race to be precise. So we had lunch in the pub and went to a Steam Fair we had stumbled across a couple of miles up the road. We saw some beautiful steam engines and a crazy Tractor Pull. Tractors stripped down for racing hehe! We ate donuts and parted ways in Durham again.

Yesterday evening saw the return of the Magic Garden, a lost key which was found, and toast. All in all a rather splendid day.

la_loffe @ 2006-05-25T13:07:00

2006-05-25T12:40:34Z

I have nothing to do and it feels great! I have so much free time on my hands that I actually finished reading "Captain Corelli's Mandolin". Thank you Louis de Bernières for evoking yet more emotion in this previously unsensitive girl. My nasty cold has taken away my voice pretty much completely now although Walkabout last night probably didn't help matters. I don't care though because it doesn't hurt anymore. I think I might go back to the library for the second time ever and get myself a good story book. See if I can get better at this reading malarky. Or I could go and play my fiddle for as long as i want. Or I could watch an entire film. Or I could go for a walk in the woods. Its sunny and its full of bluebells. Or I could sleep. I could do all of it or none of it and it doesn't matter. I think I might begin by removing all traces of anything to do with gas turbines and IC engines from my room. So I feel a little bit worse for wear today but who cares. I deserved a pint or several I mean who would have thought I could manage to write five pages about forging and welding. I am going to go to Newcastle tonight because I don't have to get up at six in the morning anymore.

la_loffe @ 2006-05-03T18:57:00

2006-05-03T18:05:30Z

I got 0% for my last assignment. Yes thats right, no marks whatsoever. The long and the short of it is that ,after calculating percentages etc for that entire module and splitting it up into what i need for the impending exam and hence the resit which means a cut off of 40% and adding it to the module means I am basically going to get kicked out of uni unless some kind of miracle is performed. I don't want to be doing the wrong thing because I can't think of anything else I want to do. But maybe I am. Maybe its a sign from the big guy that this isnt for me. But what is for me?

la_loffe @ 2006-04-28T23:47:00

2006-04-28T23:04:37Z

I have been feeling a little bit out of my depth. When I say out of my depth I mean fighting for breath as the water is so far above my head I can't see the light from the sun anymore. What's more, I have forgotten how to swim. A pep talk from a concerned friend (the bitch made me cry!) however, has seen me digging out my armbands. So here's to more buoancy aids!

And a meme...

01 - Leave me a comment saying, "Interview me."

02 - I will respond by asking you five questions of a very intimate and creepily personal nature. Or not so creepy/personal.
03 - You will update your LJ with the answers to the questions.
04 - You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the post.
05 - When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

1) If you could switch one body part for someone else's what part would it be, whose and why?

Now you're asking! Remember that game where pictures of people were split into three parts (head, body, legs) and then you could give a cowboy a bikini and suchlike hilarities...well if I were to change one of those it would have to be the middle body part ( thats including hips by the way, bloody child-bearing hips that I have, I don't even want triplets). I am completely pear-shaped. From my tiny boobs expands an ocean of fat culminating in the most oversized pair of hips in existance. It upsets me to look at it. I would have to swap with someone who shall have to remain nameless because she will shout at me. But somehow she has mastered the art of big boobs, tiny waste and hips that match the rest of her body. She is perfect. And I have to try my hardest not to hate her for it.
(Yes I realised I totally cheated on that question I do apologise if it makes it any better it was catk)

2) If you could live anywhere in the world where would you live and why?

Right now I have seriously itchy feet (of the metaphorical variety that is). I doesn't feel like I could commit to anywhere when there's still so many places I haven't been. Although I think perhaps I could see myself in many many years time and for a short period at least, in a house on the coast of Brittany (so far my favourite part of france but how do I know for sure when I haven't been EVERYWHERE?) with blue shutters, a sea view and my frenchman.

3) Chocolate or sex?

As much as I enjoy the latter...
I have been rather stressed out lately to the point of random public outbursts of actual emotion! This happens very very very rarely. Anyway just now I am feeling a bit better and this conversation illustrates why:

Fiona says:
I just got the biggest bar of chocolate in the WORLD!
Fiona says:
happiness is a bar of cadbury's
Caroline says:
teehee
Caroline says:
true
Caroline says:
enjoy the sweet sensation of the million and one ways of eating it
Caroline says:
better than anything
Caroline says:
even sex
Fiona says:
most definately

4) Name your favourite childhood cartoon and say why it's your favourite.

Oh there are sooo many! In fact I took part in a forum conversation on this question! How cool am I? Or indeed how much was I avoiding revision ?
The fact you asked for a cartoon makes this easier however. So I probably shouldn't go on about the strange love I had for gaelic sing along programmes. If I am being very honest one of my favourite things to do on a saturday morning was to get up ridiculously early, before anyone else in the house, and watch "The Racoons". I don't know why I liked it so much, perhaps because it wasn't as scary as the moomins. Perhaps because it was a classic goodies against the baddies, with a goody related to a baddy, and some baddies that weren't very good at being bad, and of course the goodies always won before the end of the episode. But probably most of all because of the pink things with the weird noses.

5) Name a crush you had at school that NO ONE knew about ^_^

This is a tough one because I think most people know about the crushes I had no matter how much I tried to keep them secret. Although the identity of camel shall never be revealed hehe! At my first school I fancied a guy in my chemistry class. And NOBODY knew. Which is just as well because he turned out to be gay. Oh the shame and woe and heartbreak of high school. Sorry I am struggling here can I get back to you on this one? I really can't think of anyone other than 4th years I thought were hot when I was in 6th year. Oh how wrong is that?!

I am so going to be locked up for that!

la_loffe @ 2006-04-08T11:12:00

2006-04-08T10:43:16Z

So my trip to Spain turned out rather differently than expected:

Buses and boats and trains (and the back of a van). Snake charmers, monkeys,camels and Big Fish. Sleeping on top of each other, sleeping on a roof. Couscous, snails and the best kebabs in the world. Over 30 degrees and wind from the Sahara. Olive groves and palm trees. Mad mingling of people and traffic. Thé de menthe and 100% rose petals. Having conversations in several languages at the same time. Gaining celebrity status. Dirham and how to keep them. Football on the beach and dancing in the street. Place de la Djemba Fna, Marrakesh.

My spanish remains unimproved because they speak and interesting mix of French/Arabic in Morocco.

la_loffe @ 2006-03-05T18:55:00

2006-03-05T19:09:55Z

So just over a week after meeting this guy at a session in the pub I had my first gig with a new band last night. Just played it by ear really and a lot of the stuff I had never done before which was great. It was a good turn out and everyone seemed to be having fun and dancing away like troopers. I eventually made it home at half one this afternoon (just in time for more bloody rehearsals) so I am bit knackered and now have spanish to do for yet another exam tomorrow morning. In conclusion I am tired but chuffed!

la_loffe @ 2006-02-26T19:06:00

2006-02-26T19:44:21Z

I have finished all lab reports! Woo! Celebrating this in true end of week fashion with a bar crawl on friday night meant that I slept through our match against Trevs on saturday morning, woops. It was a pleasant blend of good company, cheap drink and an all round positive atmosphere, drama free. To top it off a surprise phonecall from a likeminded person meant I ended up passing out with a long awaited happy feeling that I wasn't supposed to be doing something else.
On Saturday I turned blue. Filming outside in the wind and the rain in period costume ( a see through dress!) was not a pleasant experience and makes me feel one step further along the road to being able to say no.
Onto today, rudely awoken in the afternoon to sort out the college post, and so was severley lacking in college spirit! Back to the programming grindstone but my compiler still doesn't work so I gave up and drank hot chocolate.
I have been playing again this week! FINALLY found some folk that I can jam with and so I am slowly regaining my sanity, which has been somewhat lost of late. I feel I may even be close to shaking off those middle of term blues. But not quite.

Please all take a wander over to chilean_meow because all her entries are dating weird so I don't think they come up on friends pages. Plus she is feeling rather poorly and may need hugs from afar or indeed a manly pat on the back is probably more along the right lines. (Or whisky as her dad has suggested, sheesh and he makes fun of me for my drinking habits!) Anyway I need her to get better because I have spanish exams this week and will probably need muchos help.

Joined the band wagon avoiding work

2006-02-20T15:35:37Z

the Asserter
Test finished!

you chose AY - your Enneagram type is EIGHT.

"I must be strong"

Asserters are direct, self-reliant, self-confident, and protective.

How to Get Along with Me

Stand up for yourself... and me.
Be confident, strong, and direct.
Don't gossip about me or betray my trust.
Be vulnerable and share your feelings. See and acknowledge my tender, vulnerable side.
Give me space to be alone.
Acknowledge the contributions I make, but don't flatter me.
I often speak in an assertive way. Don't automatically assume it's a personal attack.
When I scream, curse, and stomp around, try to remember that's just the way I am.

What I Like About Being a Eight

being independent and self-reliant
being able to take charge and meet challenges head on
being courageous, straightforward, and honest
getting all the enjoyment I can out of life
supporting, empowering, and protecting those close to me
upholding just causes

What's Hard About Being a Eight

overwhelming people with my bluntness; scaring them away when I don't intend to
being restless and impatient with others' incompetence
sticking my neck out for people and receiving no appreciation for it
never forgetting injuries or injustices
putting too much pressure on myself
getting high blood pressure when people don't obey the rules or when things don't go right

Eights as Children Often

are independent; have an inner strength and a fighting spirit
are sometimes loners
seize control so they won't be controlled
fugure out others' weaknesses
attack verbally or physically when provoked
take charge in the family because they perceive themselves as the strongest, or grow up in difficult or abusive surroundings

Eights as Parents

are often loyal, caring, involved, and devoted
are sometimes overprotective
can be demanding, controlling, and rigid

Renee Baron & Elizabeth Wagele

You are not completely happy with the result?!
You chose AY

Would you rather have chosen:

BY (FOUR)

CY (SIX)

AX (SEVEN)

AZ (THREE)

The Enneagram Made Easy
Discover the 9 Types of People
HarperSanFrancisco, 1994, 161 pages

la_loffe @ 2006-02-09T03:01:00

2006-02-09T03:07:41Z

So I still haven't finished my lab report but I am now ridiculously high on caffeine. Everyone but steve seems to have made it back from the birthday do. Geordie is hilariously drunk and is trying to get me to sign him in for problem class tomorrow, which of course I will because he is a legend. There is a domestic going on next door, which is noisy but fine because its about bloody time she put him in his place. The usual suspects (and not me) are getting high, but with the porters apparently, and here was me thinking they were after us. And I have now lost the ability to sit still, but I will somehow get this report done, somehow. I wonder what happens when you eat coffee granules...

la_loffe @ 2006-02-05T16:31:00

2006-02-05T16:38:26Z

Lab report...yawn...Last night at Klute it felt like I was 14 again and back at the Honeycomb. Oh well distractions are distractions and I had managed to take an almost lethal concoction of painkillers for my face. Add to that a few pints and well I was sailing again. Today my head is underwater.

la_loffe @ 2006-01-31T02:44:00

2006-01-31T02:46:08Z

Tonight was supposed to be about me. About me having fun doing whatever with whoever. Not him. Not bloody him.